ozfortress Sixes Season 25

Premier - Round #2

just ( essence! )
Home Team
Coffee Clock
Away Team
cooki Captain
bosskquish Captain
-atten Captain
yewl Captain
down Sixes League Admin
Shared Availability
Schedule suggestions (based on both team's shared availability): Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
Match Communications (Match Comms)

oi bala

essence: ez clap

Lets go, lets go 8:35 on Thursday. Close the deal cooki

This is a genuine statement. It is in no way a fabrication of any kind and we will be looking forward to this hypercompetitive match that will be without a doubt thrilling for all parties. Just ( essence! ) is extremely eager to be blessed with the opportunity of playing against the infamous 'Ghost' as we have heard he is a highly skilled and unique player. Nevertheless, we will remain confident as we approach the time at which both teams will face each other in this all out brawl of a match that will be one for the ages. We wish you luck for the match and for your future endeavors.

Kind regards,

Dear associates of just ( essence! ),

Due to an exam on Thursday evening the earliest Coffee Clock can play is 9:35PM.
Please write back if this suits.

Best wishes,

I am deeply saddened to inform you that we cannot meet your request. Unfortunately, our team consists of numerous minors and foreigners and convincing my team to play at such an inconvenient time would be simply reckless and inconsiderate on my behalf. It is due to the aforementioned reasons that I implore you to suggest a more reasonable time that takes into account the young players on our rising and soon to be feared prem team.


I would highly suggest that you rethink that statement, The_Agression. Notwithstanding the age of some of your team members, namely Sicko_Bamba and s i c k o m o d e, it is quite apparent that they are both 'nerds' who are capable of making this time. Additionally, there is both oral and written evidence to prove that a 9:35 PM start will not hinder their progression through puberty.

I implore you to agree to a 9:35 PM start and to not escalate the situation further. If you choose not to agree, Coffee Clock has no qualms with taking this matter to the High Court of ozfortress.

Warm regards,

down Sixes League Admin Coffee Clock


To Cooki, Name partner of Lams & Huang

With all due respect, considering your status as the best closer in Melbourne, I am utterly melancholic regarding how you have dealt with this matter. I cannot help but recognise your passive-aggressive tone in which you have used when speaking about my team. Resorting to such childish and foolish name calling of our players to merely disparage us will only hinder your already slim chances of getting the time you are so vigorously clamouring for. However, as I am looking to resolve this conflict with as little vexation as humanly possible, I propose that we commence our match at 8am as it is not only prior to Sicko_Bamba and s i c k o m o d e 's school commitments, but also to both of our exam commitments. I look forward to a swift and a mutually beneficial acceptance of this proposal as I am sure much like myself, that you are insistent on avoiding any further scrutiny from the High Court.

With love,

Dear The_Agression,

It is unfathomable how you have reached the conclusion that I was attacking the character of your team members'. I was merely stating the facts which can be easily verified due to the substantial amount of evidence that exists. I apologise if I have caused any offense whilst spreading the truth.

However, for you to come forward with a direct, personal attack on myself is inexcusable. This will be considered an act of war and I will not accept your ridiculous offer of an 8am game.
I will set out two options for you Mr. Agression:
1. We play our match at the earlier, more realistic time, of 7am on Thursday; or
2. We play our match at the standard official time (8:35pm) on Wednesday night

Acceptance of either of these terms will be the safest and most favourable option for you and your team.

Also, as you seem to have misinterpreted my previous saying, I will reiterate; Both I, and Coffee Clock, have no issue in taking this to the High Court if you continue on your tirade. A man of your intellect should clearly see that an extended period of litigation will not do you any good. We have both the manpower and resources on our side due to our association with the Huang family and its dynasty.


Confirmed 7:35 AM Thursday. Second map to be played at 8:35 PM Thursday too.

Dear Cooki,

I am severely disgruntled that you would resort to reminding us of the endless stream of wealth the Huang family possesses. Forgive me if I am wrong here, but I cannot stop myself from feeling like this is a personal attack designed for the sole purpose of superiority. How do you think this will play out in a court of law? I am sure with your extensive experience as a closer you know just how dangerous it can be to let a case like this go to trial. However, as I so eloquently mentioned prior, I am looking to resolve this conflict and will be glad to accept your match at the standard official time (8:35pm) on Wednesday. However, I will need to confer with my clients, so you shall most likely receive a confirmation by fax no later than 21:00 tomorrow.

Also, need I remind you that we have the bamba dynasty on our side. His pockets may not be as deep as the Huang family, but if you choose to threaten us again, you will leave me with no option but to take you to trial. You seem to be forgetting who I am Mr cooki, I am the voice of the voiceless and I will fight until the ends of this miserable and lifeless planet to protect my clients from being pushed around by bottom feeders the likes of you. Lets just hope it doesn't resort to that.

Yours truly,

Dear The_Agression,

Firstly, I must congratulate you on your grit, resolve, and resilience. You have certainly lived up to your name and I am sure in another life we would have made a great partnership. But alas, as you are the representative of the bamba dynasty it is impossible for us to unite as one.

Nevertheless, I eagerly await your confirmation regarding the match at the standard official time (8:35pm) on Wednesday. I will be clear here - if there is no confirmation on your part by 21:00 tomorrow, this matter will go ahead to trial.

Let this be a warning to not only you, but to the rest of the inhabitants on this god forsaken planet: The Huang family's power and influence spreads far and wide and only one thing is certain ... Ghost is inevitable.

Sending you good vibes,

Dear cooki,

In the midst of all the madness, it really warms my soul to see you extend gratitude towards us. But as I delve into your closing argument i see its nothing but smoke and mirrors designed for the sole purpose of letting my guard down. I guess it is just one of the vicissitudes of life, you never know who you can truly trust. In an attempt to streamline this abomination of a process, I have decided the best course of action is to play the first map at 8:35 and return for the second map after we have finished dinner with the time being subject to change on the day.

With deep eternal hatred,

To whom it may concern,

After a profoundly beneficial board meeting conducted with the members of Just ( essence! ), we have unanimously come to the concluding agrome to the concluding agreement that in light of the current situation, the first option you offered to my associate The_Agression would be the most satisfactory time for which we will commence the match, that time being 7:00am on Thursday the 13th of June, 2019. I assume that this settlement is satisfactory for Coffee Clock, however, a written confirmation would be highly appreciated in this time of confusion and chaos. I sincerely hope Coffee Clock find this time appropriate, as further negotiation would be deplorable and stagnant for both parties.

I do you hope, the members of Coffee Clock, enjoy your mud bathing endeavors with Lexx and associates and have good fortune in the near and far future.

Yours faithfully,

Dear counsel of just ( essence! ),

Prima facie, it appears there is internal conflict between the two associates, The_Agression and squonk, as they have confirmed two different match times (8:35PM and 7:00AM). I pose this question to you - How am I supposed to negotiate and organise a match time if their team cannot even decide on an agreeable time between just them? Perhaps a joint mud bath session is needed to resolve any underlying issues between them. Please get back to me when you have sorted out the internal problems of the team - either match time is suitable for us.

One last point that I would like to be noted on the record is that neither Coffee Clock, nor Lams and Huang, are affiliated or related with 'Lexx and his asscociates'. Additionally, if my memory serves me correctly, a 3rd party who will not be named at this time, has publicly said on stream that it is in fact the members of your team that fall under this so called 'Lexx circlejerk'.

With my condolences,

Dear Cooki, representative of the Huang dynasty,

Although I suggested playing at 8:35 pm, it appears as if I have received a lukewarm reception to this proposal. As such, I have made the executive decision to back my fellow name partner and suggest we play at 7:00 am pending your approval. In regards to your munted memory, I am currently filing a subpoena as I type this message. Referring to my team as a 'circlejerk' is simply crossing the line and I demand to know where you received this intel from. I'll be in touch and look forward to our deposition and need I remind you, committing perjury is a severe criminal offence that would crumble your already deteriorating reputation as a lawyer.

With no regards for your worthless, pathetic, unfulfilling and miserable life,

Dear The_Agression, the voice of the voiceless, name partner and representative of the bamba dynasty and just ( esssence! ),

It is with much joy that I can confirm a 7:00 am match on Thursday the 13th June. It warms my soul that this matter has finally been put to bed. Coffee Clock looks forward to this much anticipated match.

As for your second matter, I welcome your deposition with open arms. I have nothing to hide and I do not fear repeating myself under oath in your filthy, time-wasting, joke of a deposition. You and all your known affiliates ARE part of the 'circlejerk' led by the infamous Lexx.

Do not make me call upon my expert witnesses to prove this already known matter.

With extremely cold regards,

Dear cooki,

I am thrilled to have finally reached an agreement with your team. However, I cannot help but notice you have made it clear that you have nothing to hide? Please, don't make me guffaw at such a heinous assertion. As for the deposition, you should have received the details I sent to your email and I'd appreciate an expeditious response as I am anxiously awaiting your arrival at our offices, at which you will be given a platform to let your miserable voice be heard. Let me make one thing clear, your time at the top of the mountain is over, you're nothing but a shell of your former self in every conceivable aspect imaginable.

I eagerly await hearing from you and your so-called witnesses. You may want to take back your claims as I will take legal action for slander and defamation of character if you proceed with this 'circlejerk' nonsense.

With lots of love xoxo,

To the tribe of coffee cock

FUCCCK YOU retard aboriginal african looking munted deformed fugly incest abomination poop eating stupid farting down syndrome cancer patient. I wish you death and eternal suffering and i hope you choke on your cousins c0ck and hope that ur brain tumor grows to the cloud and explodes. In all seriousness i hope your house gets robbed again and this time ur headset gets stolen. you have 24 to forfeit all your items or else Bob hope will come again to permanently ban your account and remove your private school scholarship that has been wasted on you

~ sincerely sicko bamba

can ywl be our organiser in future please

To The_Agression,

I could not help but notice that one of your clients has had a sperg attack. This does not reflect well on you or the bamba dynasty. I sincerely hope that you have had a stern talking to him. Teenagers need love, guidance, and support in order to not turn out as demented adults. In any case you need to keep your team members on a leash to prevent another 'incident' like this from occurring again. At this stage I will not comment on the personal attack on ghost, but just know that an attack on ghost is an attack on me. I will not hesitate to make your life a living hell if there is even the slightest inclination that you, or your associates, are slandering him again.

In other news, thank you for the brilliant match and for confirming the scores so quickly.

Good luck in your future matches and see you in the playoffs,

To cooki,

bg, see you in the finals you filthy maggot. I hope you lose the rest of your games from here on out, and I hope that Ghost gets his visa revoked sending him back to the slums where he belongs. He will never amount to anything past a sweatshop worker.

The Huang family will not forget this...
One day Ghost will rise up and end all of your pathetic, miserable lives.


connect; password BVviRrCHSt

yo is this a ff

Thermite Retired League Admin

What is the status of this match? If logs are not posted by tomorrow it will be scored as a mutual forfeit.

Reminder to ALL players that match comms should be used appropriately. They are the official way for match communication and should be treated as such.

connect; password FYtuZaWJd
heres connect string

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